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Gosh, I really don’t feel like updating but hate to leave holes in the story.
Well, the visit with “Flower” was fabulous and super fast. I can’t believe she was here and now gone already. She truly has blossomed so much (a true flower LOL). She was so incredibly loving, even with extended family, and has adopted us all. She wanted to stay here so badly but at the same time she was excited to call to her foster family regularly and did seem to look a bit excited to go back (though she kept saying “Nooooo, Mama”). I’m really so happy for her. I know she wants us to adopt her and if all goes as planned (Ha! That’s a joke, right!) we will be there this summer to make her our own but in the meantime she is with a family that she also cares about very much and who cares for her as well. Funny how God works out all these things and we don’t even see it coming.
Speaking of God working out the details, you should just see what He is doing as far as making our updated homestudy, supporting documents and approvals fall into place. I pray only for His perfect timing and trust He will work out the details. It’s awesome to see what He does and so funny that it wasn’t that long that I would have been freaking out about getting this and that done by such and such date, and so on. It’s so cool to be like, “Okay God, you work on the details and I’ll just trust in you.” and then He comes through. Now stress, no worries, just enjoying the comfort of His arms.
So the latest on my medical stuff... well, surgery is scheduled for next week. What I am about to go through seems like it is anything but a blessing but I completely disagree, I think it is (easy for me to say that now, I know). There were so many possibilities as to what these tumors/masses could have been and the required treatments and surgery could have been so much worse that we are just so happy with even the difficult surgery and recovery ahead.
I am going to the best surgeon in the world for the type of surgery I will need. This will require me to leave our home state but I am more than happy to do it for an awesome surgeon. I am having the pylorus-preserving pancreaticoduodenectomy (also known as the Pylorus-preserving Whipple Procedure). I will have a vertical incision from my breast bone down THEN around one side of my belly button, down to....to what? I don’t know, I freaked and missed the rest of what I was told. Anyway, you get the idea. They have to do this large incision then pry me open so they can look at all my other organs to make sure nothing else should come out (jealous?). In this surgery they will REMOVE, 1/3 of my pancreas, my bile duct, my gallbladder, the majority of my duodenum (first part of my small intestine) and a little jejunum (second part of my small intestine). A Classic Whipple would require them to take a portion of my stomach as well. We were SO happy to learn about this other variation, which would allow me to keep all of my stomach.
The surgeon feels confident that the tumor on my pancreas is a Non-Functioning Neuroendocrine tumor (I am learning a whole new vocabulary if you haven’t already figured that out). Basically, these are usually slow growing tumors that do not secrete any hormones (hence “non-functioning”). It’s “sizable” but pretty small since they stumbled upon it and it hadn’t grown so large that it began pushing into other organs and causing symptoms.
There is a 50/50 chance of malignancy with no present indications that it is malignant. Even with malignancy, I would be considered cured upon surgery. No chemo, no radiation, nothing. I will need to be monitored for the rest of my life to check for new growths but those too can be removed and I would again be considered “cured”. Doc says he sees no reason to believe that I will live anything less than a normal life span. So that was good news, right?
What they see in my liver, they believe is completely unrelated. They believe it is something called an FNH. Since this would be nothing to worry about, I have not studied all the info on it. I just know I was hoping this is what it was because it wouldn’t be a problem and wouldn’t need to be removed. They will biopsy it when they do surgery to confirm diagnosis.
Sooo, next week is surgery. Monday, clear fluids only. Tuesday surgery bright & early. Wednesday, 5 am or so, Dr. will visit for evaluation then every hour throughout the day, someone will come in and get me out of bed to walk. The Dr. OR assistant called it “boot camp”. It really doesn’t sound like much fun. I’m not looking for sympathy but if you’d like to share empathy, I’m all for that. Feeling kind of alone in this whole slice and dice thing. Saturday I can probably eat some solid food though I hear I probably won’t want to take more than a few bites. <sigh> Hospital stay is approximately 7-8 days (on average) though if I am walking and can have my drains removed sooner, then out I can go.
Anyway, they claim that there is a 6-week recovery period then back to normal life. Seems hard to believe but I’m cool with that too! I will probably be 10 lbs lighter (which is great, 12 or 13 lbs would be better but I’ll take 10) so there are some positives here LOL. I would say getting ready for bikini season but I will have a pretty obvious, giant scar this summer I’m sure. Though I am told over time (how much time/. No clue) the scar should become just a fine line that is close to my normal skin color.
Of course I am always ready and willing to solicit prayer requests. So if you would help me through those first few day after surgery in particular (and of course through the actual surgery), I would really appreciate it. I am trying to dig in and find my “Bring it on!” attitude so I can stand up and tough it out. Unfortunately, the image in my head is of my crying and whimpering about how they are trying to kill me and how much they must hate me. Just trying to be honest here folks!
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