Well, I survived. It was a long 2 weeks away from home with some moderate complications along the way but overall the surgery was a success and I am on the road to recovery.

 

The tumor was malignant (cancer). It was the type of tumor they thought it was (Non-functioning Neuroendorcine/Islet Cell) with no surprises. They removed 28 lymph-nodes, all of which were clear.

The mass in my liver was also what they thought it was, an FNH (benign), but during surgery decided to go ahead and remove it as well. We didn't ask why but assume it is to keep my future scans clean while looking for any new growths.

The prognosis is good, I am considered "cured" and will not require any further treatment. Although it is not likely for the cancer to have spread, these types of tumors do have the ability to pop back up, usually in the liver BUT can pop up ANYWHERE. It's a bit of a scary thought, particularly since my scans will only be of my abdomen and not full body scans. I will be scanned every 6 months for 2-3 yrs, then every 2 yrs for 4-5 yrs, then every 2 years thereafter until I depart this world

The Dr. said he operated on another patient with the same tumor 10 yrs ago and she has had clean scans until this year. She now has a few spots on her liver but they are easy to treat. I guess I'm supposed to feel good about that (could be a lot worse) but I don't know, just one day at a time I guess.

I asked the Dr. if he knows how long my tumor (just under 2 cm) had been growing, he didn't know but guesses probably several years. Because of my lymph nodes were clear he thinks this tumor was a very low-grade malignancy.

We also saw on the initial pathology report that I had something called chronic cholecystitis (involves the gallbladder). I really don't know much of anything about it yet but wonder if it was the cause of my problems over the past decade that finally lead me to the Dr. for these scans in the first place. With my gallbladder being gone now, I am hoping that those issues will also be gone. Right now it's hard to tell since I am still teaching my stomach to handle food and still trying to understand when it is time to eat and when to stop eating. Interesting how quickly our daily life issues can change.

 

I lost 12 lbs the first week in the hospital (that was about 10% of my body weight). Not sure of my current weight but doubt I have gained much of any of that back. I’m okay with the weight loss now, though initially it was scary to see my face getting thinner by the day. The first time I was allowed in the shower and was able to shave my legs, I realized my mama thighs turned to chicken legs....weird! My scar is pretty large but the incision itself is very thin. I really don’t care at all about the scar, just happy to be alive.

 

I am a bit traumatized by this whole thing. I mean, as much as God poured out His grace upon me (and let me tell you, He did BIG time) there are still things that I wish I could get out of my head. They say that you shouldn’t remember the first day and sometimes dayS after surgery and I wish that were true for me, but it is not. I remember the Recovery Room (nightmare...very scary for me) and ICU (night staff seemed almost abusive by their insensitive attitude and lying).  It all really does still haunt me and I wish I could just forget it all.

 

On top of that I think I’m a bit in shock that out of nowhere, at age 32 I had and beat cancer. I mean, where did all of this come from? Who saw that one coming? Am I a “cancer survivor” now? Do I even deserve that title? If I had cancer at 32, whether this one chooses not to come back for 10 yrs, will another kind of cancer pop up, I mean I plan on living many more decades before checking out. It’s just weird. It really is making my head spin. And while the Dr. says he sees no reason to believe I should live anything other than a normal life span, I am still getting scanned a whole heck of a lot. I really don’t want to be cut open anymore. I just endured the largest abdominal surgery there is. What more can I possibly take?

 

Anyway, I am ready to be better already. I am sick of this slowing me down, keeping home and making me so tired. I want to eat like a normal person and get out of my house and just live life but that will all take time. Right now time is moving very slowly, so hopefully the pace will pick up a bit.

 

In adoption news, our homestudy agency dropped the ball for 3 weeks while I was gone. It is such a major disappointment but again, trying to remember that God is working out all the details in His perfect timing.  At this point, we will be lucky to have our Re-Affirmation I-171H in a month. UGH! Let’s just keep praying, it’s not too late for us to still possibly have “Flower” home this summer.

I'm so happy to see you typing! :) I hope you didn't wear yourself out. That is a huge ordeal to go through. I am going to pray that you forget too. Our son had major surgery at 6 and he didn't forget either. It sometimes haunts him today.
Just so glad you have gone through this and you didn't have to go through it alone!

I had cancerous tumors in my thyroid when I was 32.:)
They removed them and I have been fine ever since.
Haven't been scanned near as often.

BLESS YOU! And now, lets get flower HOME!

Hi Mychelle!
Its been a long time! I stop by your blog every now and then and was SHOCKED to hear about your cancer! I am so glad that you are doing better! You are so fortunate to be surrounded by loving friends and family! My fingers are crossed for you that you can get Flower home soon! You've taken the long road on everything - but in the end - your finish line will be more than you ever prayed for!
Best wishes!
Amy:)

I am so glad that everything was removed and you are home. Sorry to hear how the staff acted. That is just horrible and I also hope the nightmares from that pass. This actually should be reported. Was it at Johns Hopkins? My mother-in-law works there and this should not be tolerated. That is supposed to be the best hospital in America - maybe even worldwide and we shouldn't stand for this.

I know you are scared about so many things and I am sorry you have had to go through this. We don't understand why things happen and we just have to think, "How can God get all the glory through this?" I am praying for you and will pray that "Flower" gets here soon! I haven't told you, but I will be traveling to Ukraine to visit Grisha in 4 weeks! I am very nervous, but can't wait.

Yes, you ARE a cancer survivor and you DO deserve that title!

Glad to hear you are recuperating with such high spirits. You have been through quite an ordeal. Blessings to you and your family.

Just wondering, do you already have a physical done for your dossier?

Thanks everyone!

I just received a survery from Johns Hopkins, I plan to be honest about my experience :)

This has been a horrific surgery to recover from, four weeks after the surgery I have declared that I truly deserve to consider myself a cancer survivor. I had thought I had gotten off easy (and in comparison to some I may have) but I don't believe I have. Also the more I learn the more I believe that this cancer experience is not over, though it may not take my life and I may have a decade before it reappears, it is probably not the end.

Earlier this week I spent another 4 days in the local hospital after having 3 very difficult days at home, now followed by 2 of my best days since surgery. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but I am hoping to hang on to this miracle recovery.

Yes, our physical for our dossier is complete, as well as our hs update. Due to my Dr.s (3 of them to be exact) optimistic prognosis, this "situation" will not be a problem in our adoption journey. Praise the Lord!o:)

That is so awesome to hear!http://theukrainetrain.blogspot.com/