Okay, we are moving over to BlogSpot, as there seems to be more options and is easier to post pics, videos and free to become private during our travels.

The new blog address is http://findingrdaughter.blogspot.com/ We will be posting there from here on out.

Since we have such awesome prayer warriors out there, many we have never met face to face, I want to share the latest with you.

 

We have learned about a little girl with CP that we will likely pursue for adoption. Please do not email me for details as to how we found out about her; I am already hesitant to post much right now. But we have learned about her through someone who is advocating for her and I believe God is tugging on my heart.

 

In a previous post, someone (I think it was Amy  EDIT: oops, it was Jennifer lol) suggested that we call her “Hope” (at the time, we were talking about an unknown child we hoped to adopt). It was funny that she posted this because of many reasons (I will definitely share after our adoption is complete) and has become even MORE than appropriate for this child.

 

This tug I feel is a familiar feeling. It is much like the tug that lead us to pursue “Flower”. If you don’t know the story or have forgotten, read these to old blog posts:

 

http://www.findingrdaughter.braveblog.com/entry/19635

http://www.findingrdaughter.braveblog.com/entry/19840

 

 

So please pray for “Hope”. I am really becoming convinced that God is speaking to my heart about pursuing this child but, of course, want to be sure it is Him.  I am really starting to get excited about the fact that we could be in Ukraine in just 4 months! Wow, how cool is that. Again, praying that all will go smoothly from here on out. I believe God has already moved our mountain to adopt “Flower” though we have no particular reason for believing that other than we have faith in God and I just feel it in my heart.

I had a strange dream this morning that had me out of bed earlier than I would have liked. I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream when I woke up from it, so I gave up on trying to get more sleep.

 

I dreamt I was on the phone with my friend Colleen (not unusual, we talk often). Then my other phone rang (one must have been my cell phone) and it was another friend in the adoption world but for whatever reason in my dream her name was “Wendy” (no clue why she didn’t have her normal name and have no idea who Wendy is...maybe Wendy from Peter Pan?) LOL. “Wendy” tells me that the SDA Director is contacting the local administrators office, where “Flower” is, and requesting some documents to put with her SDA file. She said that the Director was going to be leaving, and to be replaced by a man but that he was also against adoptions (lovely, I know). However, I should not worry because it would be all taken care of in 2 weeks, so we would be able to adopt “Flower”.

 

Now, I’d like to think God was hooking me up with some prophecy but then why did my friend go by the name “Wendy”? LOL. I quickly decided that this dream was God telling me (or at least I hope so), that He is going to take care of everything so we can adopt “Flower”, though His plan may be through some very unexpected ways. I believe He is telling me that I cannot even begin to guess how He will take care of things, but that He will, and He can do anything.

Okay, 2^nd posting for today, but I can’t believe I forgot to share my Mama’s Day gift from Dan. Dan has come around and agrees to adopt from Ukraine even if we can’t get “Flower”. Of course we both REALLY want “Flower” and she is priority but a denial of her referral does not mean we will pack it up and head home without the younger SN child (blind referral) that we hope to adopt (praying to come home with both girls). I asked if this is him doing this for me or if it is what he wants and he says it is what he wants. What a blessing!

 

Tomorrow we are headed back down to Columbia, AGAIN, for apostilles. We will be apostilling (is that a word?) the new Petition To Adopt and the addendum to our homestudy (just clarifies we are approved for TWO children between 3-13 yrs old). Got to get this stuff to Ukraine so our facilitator can translate it and get it ready to be submitted in a just a few more weeks.

 

I’m still believing God for this. I just really believe that we will come home with “Flower”, so please keep praying.

 

By the way, as usual, we spoke with “Flower” again on Friday. We haven’t been discussing her visiting this summer or any updates on the adoption, I really was not clear on what the foster mom had decided to tell her. This Friday, “Flower” asked if I was coming to Ukraine to ask the “caregiver” (I assume she means SDA Director) if we could adopt her. We told her “yes”. She wanted to know if anyone else was coming with me, we told her “Papa” and she cheered. LOL Too cute! We were going to take Anthony and Yana but due to the uncertainty with “Flower’s” adoption and also going for a blind referral, we think it is best they do not come. “Flower” asked when we were coming and Yana couldn’t remember how to translate “4-5 months” or “maybe September” which is probably for the best anyway, just in case. So we told her that we did not know yet, we have to wait until they tell us when we can come.

 

I suppose this is the best way to handle it, telling her the truth that we will not know if we can adopt her until we come and ask. Once again I reminded her to pray. We tried to really stress the importance of prayer, especially prayers of orphans; I believe their prayers have so much power. She said she is praying, and of course we are too.

Well today was interesting. Not a bad day, nothing to complain about, but some interesting things happened.

 

First, I received some very nice cards from my children, one of which was signed “Love, Yana” and she wrote it was from “Flower” too! I almost cried.

 

Later, while at my Mom’s, Mom tells me that her friend’s daughter, whom I never met, participated in a walk for Cancer and she entered my name as the person she was walking for. Whoa! That was weird. I had to ask my mom again, “Who did she walk for?” I wasn’t sure I heard her right. She said something like, “You! Well, you did have cancer.” I said, “Yeah, I remember, I just wasn’t sure who you said.” LOL Dan looks at me and says something like, “That’s weird to hear someone did a cancer walk for you.” No kidding! That was weird. I said she probably didn’t know anyone else with cancer and wanted to do the walk and thought, “Hmmm...I don’t know who to say I am walking for” and her mom said, “Oh, well Tina’s daughter had cancer, why don’t you put her name.” LOL  I haven’t a clue. Anyway, interesting number one.

 

Then my dad picked up my Grandmother to join us. Grandma is 91 and has Alzeimers. She is doing pretty well considering but she of course is “forgetful” but also will have a thought and kind of get stuck on it...for the day. Well today’s thought apparently was, “Oh Michelle, you are SO beautiful. You really are. Oh my gosh, you are so beautiful, I just love you soo much. I do, I really love you.” She almost made me cry. I love my Grandma so much. It’s hard in times like that not to think that she could leave us any day now. At least there is no doubt that she loves me and that she know I love her too. The look in her eye will be unforgettable, she just really looked like her heart was going to burst with all that love inside.

 

Next we head to dinner. The restaurant is about a mile from Mom and Dad’s. Since they do not take reservations, we sent Dad and Dan ahead to see if there was a wait. There wasn’t. When we arrived, the men were already seated with their drinks. The server comes over asks for our drink order and leaves to get them. I tell Dan, “She looks like Marni (my best friend who passed away in December from breast cancer)”. He said, “I know. I told your dad I wondered how long before you noticed.” Dinner was so hard, I just wanted to cry and I mean bawl. I did cry, then I would take deep breaths and be okay, only to end up crying again when our server would come back. I said if I didn’t look at her I would be okay, because she didn’t sound like Marni, but I couldn’t stop myself from looking at her. Let’s just say that it really was not fun for me. Out of all the servers in the restaurant, why did we get her? I was facing the corner of the restaurant and didn’t have to see any other server; there must be a reason but heck if I know what it was. I am just so sad, I miss her so much and my heart aches for her daughter who just experienced her first Mother’s Day without her mommy.

 

Later we come home and I spend time catching up on the FRUA board. After checking in the Non-Mom thread, I head to the website. For those of you who don’t know, NBC had a show on tonight, sponsored by Teleflora for “America’s Favorite Mom” contest. There has been voting all week for mom’s of various categories: The Working Mom, The Single Mom, The C.E.O. (Chairman of everything) Mom, and originally had a category for “Non-mom Moms” which were to include grandparent, neighbor, step mom, or mom to adopted or foster children, but eventually changed to “Adopting Moms” due to many complaints. I was one of the many who complained about this “Non-mom” title (though I figured they were trying to be short with “non-traditional mom”) and a horrendous, short description about one of the nominees in this category. Here is the letter I sent in:

 

I am writing to you today in regard to this "Non-Mom Mom" category name NBC has for this show in which you are sponsoring. I am absolutely appalled by the insensitivity of the producers to allow such an offensive title to be given to mom's who give their hearts to children not biologically their own. I am a stepparent and an adoptive parent (as well as a biological parent) and to think that anyone would categorize my mothering for my children that are not biologically my own as "less than" by using such names as "non-mom mom" is hurtful, disrespectful and completely inappropriate. This type of “talk” is not only belittling to such mothers but to the children to whom they parent. If we are “non-moms” then we have “non-children”, some who then would not have any mom.

 

What amazes me is how this ever went from being one naive person’s idea to getting a collaborative “approval” from NBC and then supported by your company, which I will no longer use.

 

As if that wasn’t sick enough, this brief description of a “Non-mom mom” that states, “She was an adopted child who is now mom to her own daughter, plus six adopted children who started life as "meth babies"” is outrageous.! “Meth babies”? Her “own” daughter? Are you kidding? They are ALL her OWN children. To refer to these children as “meth babies” for the purpose of keeping it short and to the point, is disgusting. These are real children, with real lives and real hearts. This is completely despicable.

 

I hope that TeleFlora not only educates themselves on appropriate language but makes a very public category name change, on air with much apologies, at the very least.

 

 

Michelle

 

Real mom to 5 beautiful, worthy, real children.

 

 

I put FIVE children because if neighbors are included in this “non-mom” category, then my mothering to “Flower” should be included.

 

Anyway, I had received an apology email from Teleflora, which I found is now posted on the “America Favorite Mom” website. As I mentioned above, the “Non-mom” category was changed to “Adopting Mom” (not a fan of this change but it certainly is much better) but tonight I also found they changed the description for the mother I spoke about in my letter. To me that was the real victory. It now states:

 

“She has seven children, six of whom were adopted and exposed to methamphetamines in the womb and were born meth positive.”

 

 

Whew, it’s been a long day! Time to blog hop then head to bed. Happy Mama’s Day ladies, especially to those expecting mom’s who will be bringing their “babies” home over the next few months!

Okay, pulling myself back together. I can’t say that Dan and I are completely on the same page yet as far as adopting another child from Ukraine if we can’t get “Flower” but the reality is, we have several months to work that out. Of course it would help me to feel a whole heck of a lot better if he were on board now, but I will just pray for his heart in this.

 

We were going to call the foster family, with help of a translator and BEG for a letter or support, however, we have decided not to do this. Our Facilitator is wonderful and really is trying to advise us the best way to tackle this mountain but we have decided that it is not what God is leading us to do. So we really are taking some leaps of faith here, because we are hearing that certain things must be done to even have a chance at this succeeding but are choosing to do very little in the way of footwork at this point, and really leaving it to God and the power of prayer.

 

In my mind I keep coming back to Psalm 146. This scripture has applied to our situation in so many ways. Right now the part that keeps echoing in my mind is,

 

    ³ Don’t put your confidence in powerful people;
      there is no help for you there.
    ⁴ When they breathe their last, they return to the earth,
      and all their plans die with them.
    ⁵ But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,
      whose hope is in the Lord their God.

 

 

While our facilitator is wise in the ways of Ukrainian adoptions, I believe this is not how we will make it to our promise land; our faith must be in the Lord and we must wait for his perfect timing. He is more powerful than ANYONE. This is not an impossible mountain to climb, move or even split down the middle. We will just keep praying and believing God for this.

 

It’s funny, I picture God looking at me yesterday and this morning going, “What just happened? What? I thought we were walking together on this. Where are you going? I’m right here, why do you look so lost? I’m holding your hand, I never left and never changed; stay with me”

 

“Peace, be still and know that I am God”.

So God has been crankin’ up the grace and last night, as I was fellowshipping with our Heavenly Father, I spoke about the peace that I have. I was talking about scriptures that tell us to keep on knocking, or moving mountains, basically the power of prayer. I was talking about how I have been praying less specifically about our adoption situation and realize I have totally handed it over to God’s will. This is not a bad thing but I think sometimes we do need to keep on knocking and believing in the power of our prayers for specific things. I also felt awkward about having so much peace right now and wondered if, along with His grace, I just completely believe it will be okay, that we will be able to adopt “Flower” or am just oddly not as affected by the possible loss as I thought I would be (like I have been before).

 

Well, this afternoon, God allowed me to feel the burden of the load, or maybe I just took it back from him. My heart is aching; I want to bring “Flower” home. And at this time the foster family supports our adoption, HOPES we can adopt her but will not give any kind of written statement as they have been advised by a friend at the local lever to “do nothing”! What? Huh? My facilitator does not think we have a chance without her statement and the SDA will not accept pictures and letters exchanged between us and the foster family submitted with our dossier. So as Yana would put it, I got nothin’!

 

I’m so frustrated I could scream. As if that isn’t enough, Dan is unsure as to how to proceed. He thinks if we are not adopting “Flower” from Ukraine we should not adopt from Ukraine. Well, first of all we won’t know that for sure until we travel for our appointment. So is he suggesting we travel, spend almost all of the adoption money, get none of it back and come home childless?! I don’t believe God has brought us this far for nothing and He certainly hasn’t told me we should stop. Dan doesn’t “feel it”, as far as going to get another child and thinks we should adopt from the U.S. Again, what? Huh? Just start over after getting this far? Did I mention I could scream???

 

Somebody send up some prayers, PLEASE! I cannot carry this and we need a word from God, seriously.

Well, it’s not looking good for us to adopt “Flower”. Moving her out of foster care does not seem to be an option and wasn’t one we truly wanted to visit though felt we did have to consider it if it was the only way.

 

After having another good cry, Dan & I talked about it and decided that this is how we would move forward. We are going to submit our dossier next month, as scheduled, and include “Flower” on the Petition To Adopt. We would like for the foster family and "Flower" to give us notarized, written statements supporting this request to adopt her to submit with the dossier. We will also include in the Petition To Adopt, a request for a referral of a younger, special needs child.....and we will continue to pray.

 

We will pray that somehow, in some way the Lord will touch the heart of the SDA Director and we will be approved both referrals. If, however, we are not approved for “Flower’s” referral (as expected), we will hopefully still receive a travel date for the other referral. We are figuring this would put our appointment likely in September. We will continue to pray that over those next 4 months there is a change in Directors at the SDA (this is not unusual and looking at the past year at the SDA even likely). If someone else is in power by the time we travel we will again request her referral when we get there. If we get there and still cannot adopt her, we will most likely request the referral of “Buttercup” too.

 

While are hearts were so sad and heavy at one point today, we still feel hopeful. God is HUGE and can do ANYTHING. It’s not over yet and if we can’t adopt “Flower” now, she still has 4 more years until she is 16. We will continue to pray for God’s will and trust in Him.

 

Cara, thank you so much for your posted comment. I appreciate all the comments we receive on this blog but Cara, your last comment really spoke to me. It’s so true that sometimes these kids are placed in our lives to lead us to others and of course affect our lives and our faith so much along the way. If it were not for “Flower” we would not have headed back to Ukraine to adopt again. Our experience with “Flower” led me to Jesus and throughout the journey she was used to increase my faith tremendously. If God has other children that He has chosen for us then “Flower” is the little girl who led us to them.

 

“Flower” is in a good foster home. I really felt when I read Psalm 146 that God was telling me that He will take care of “Flower”, she will be all right. The truth is, that is all that really matters. While I can’t possibly say how this will all turn out, we are not without HOPE. Please keep praying, we are looking forward to seeing God’s perfect plan unfold for all of us.

As Beth Moore is teaching us to say (and do) in our study, I AM BELIEVING GOD!!

 

We have hit a roadblock; it’s not good at all. The problem is with the current SDA Director and children in foster care. Pretty much, she is not allowing these children to be adopted internationally. Before she came back such adoptions were happening but not since she has officially come back in power in March 1, 2008. With our dossier being submitted just one month from now, we need to figure something out, as our dossier will be rejected just based on our Petition To Adopt requesting a child in foster care.

 

I just had a major melt down and cried out to the Lord. I bawled my eyes out and pleaded that “Flower” would not be taken from us again, I can’t bear the thought. I don’t believe that is God’s plan; I believe He has spoken quite clearly many, many times that she will come home to us forever. I begged for a word from Him... SOMETHING.

 

I opened my Bible. I don’t have scripture memorized (though I’d like to). I am still a new believer with so much to learn. I thought I would open to the book of Psalm and perhaps I would find a prayer to send up to my Lord. I opened right to Psalm 146. I just felt drawn to it and began to read instead of search for another. If you are not familiar (like me), here is what is says (the emphasis is mine):

 

    ¹ Praise the Lord!

   Let all that I am praise the Lord.
       ² I will praise the Lord as long as I live.
      I will sing praises to my God with my dying breath.

    ³ Don’t put your confidence in powerful people;
      there is no help for you there.
    ⁴ When they breathe their last, they return to the earth,
      and all their plans die with them.
    ⁵ But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper,
      whose hope is in the Lord their God.
    ⁶ He made heaven and earth,
      the sea, and everything in them.
      He keeps every promise forever.
    ⁷ He gives justice to the oppressed
      and food to the hungry.
   The Lord frees the prisoners.
       ⁸ The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
   The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.
      The Lord loves the godly.
    ⁹ The Lord protects the foreigners among us.
      He cares for the orphans and widows,
      but he frustrates the plans of the wicked.

   ¹⁰ The Lord will reign forever.
      He will be your God, O Jerusalem, throughout the generations.

   Praise the Lord!

 

Please don’t stop praying now! I’m believing God!

Here it is.... WE HAVE A SUBMISSION DATE!!!!

I have been praying for God to work out the details, even though we cannot see it and He surely did! I won't get into how this all happened but in short, we sent documents to Ukraine a while back, hoping for a spot in line. Seemed like someone may have dropped the ball and we missed out. Turns out there were some miscommunication issues and we have had a number all along. Soooooo. we will submit our dossier at the end of next month and will, prayerfully, be in Ukraine in late Aug/early Sept. to bring "Flower" home for good!!!

Please keep praying for things to work out smoothly, that our dossier will be accepted and registered and that they will not turn down our request (remember adopting from foster care is legal but pretty much uncharted territory). We are also continuing to come boldly before His thrown, in faith, that He has laid these desires upon our hearts to adopt the three. I know some wonderful people who love the Lord who show doubt in their eyes when I talk about adopting 3 right now. We will not let that discourage us. God blesses the faithful and makes mighty warriors of the weak. He can do ANYTHING and we can do anything through Christ. Our faith is in Him, not in our circumstances. Would you please join us in prayer for Him to do something BIG so we can bring these 3 children home this adoption journey? If he provides the finances for us to complete such an adoption this time, we will not hesitate.

Thank you for all of your prayers! I love getting comments, it makes me realize that we are not the only ones praying for this. I believe in the power of prayer. Thanks for being such wonderful prayer warriors!!!